Dear Lee,

Once again I ventured into the world of modern art and design to report on how antiques and collectibles are treated at art shows. The Art Basel Miami Beach show is one of the largest and most expensive art and design shows in the world. Kim, my daughter and a collector of 20th-century objects, went with me. Our random observations:

  • Dealers were discussing art and sales—unlike last year, when they talked about the poor economy. Sales were excellent.
  • Michael Jackson commissioned some huge portraits before he died and the artist completed them for the show. A larger-than-life portrait of a prince-like Jackson on horseback, with cherubs holding a crown above his head, sold the first day. So did a $10-million abstract painting by another artist.
  • A Chinese artist named Xu Zhen changed his name to “MadeIn,” probably to confuse people when he writes “MadeIn China.” His art this year included signs made of chains that spelled words.
  • You could buy a kit to make a Fendi purse. It contained a mesh purse with a Fendi logo clasp, embroidery thread and paint. Cost: $995.
  • A totally scorched Victorian chair and a cloth pillar covered in old crocheted or knit potholders were for sale as examples of “great design.”
  • An oval billiard table and authentic art deco and ’50s furniture were in the design area. So were several exhibits behind viewing portholes. Some included real people “programmed” to move at certain times.
  • There was also an old grandfather clock with a real man inside very slowly moving the hands of the clock.
  • Most creepy was a booth filled with life-size stuffed and mounted deer transformed into creatures with human faces (see photo).

P.S. I was confused about the apparently new meanings of “art” and “design.” I finally decided that an “artist” makes a chair that doesn’t look like any other chair ever made; a “designer” makes a chair that’s comfortable.